Thunderstorm
by Onyx-Divine
Summary: The thunder is rumbling, the rain is pouring, and she can't sleep. She was so bloody worried about something that she wasn't even supposed to care about on top of being angry at herself. Where in Merlin's name is he? Lily x James


The thunder rolled outside the window. She was so busy doing her Potions homework that she didn't notice the sky changing colour until it was too dark. She only looked up because the lighting was bad and the candle wasn't providing enough light for her to see the words on the parchment.

How could she not have heard the rain, she wondered, itwas evident that it was so loud. She was so absorbed in what she was doing...reminded her of someone else she knows. She shook her head, now isn't the time.

She flicked her auburn hair away from her eyes. _Boom! _The thunder cracked. Her green eyes widened as she jumped at the loud noise, looking dishevelled as her hair flew all over the place, a contrast to her usual well-composed self.

A flash of lightning came through the clouds; the storm is close.

She rubbed her eyes and wrinkled her nose, making the freckles on her face dance. She had been staring at her homework for 3 hours straight; it was time for a break. She wasn't sure she wanted to take a break though, taking a break means free time, and free time means thinking, and thinking means _him. _Nevertheless, it would be cruel to deprive her body the much-needed rest it deserves.

The Potions essay on the effects of Vertisarum is abandoned on the table while she made her way to the window. The fact that the common room is located in a tower is advantageous, you can see further into the landscape.

There is something about the rain, she thought, especially in a thunderstorm, that makes it the best time to be pensive. Not that thinking is the best idea right now, but she was always a thinker. Some of her best writing happened while it was raining outside, maybe the extremes of Mother Natureawakens the authors in us, or the awes of nature are simply inspiring. Either way, she welcomed a heavy rainfall after days of humidity.

She wouldn't get much sleep tonight, she knew. Partly because of the raindrops pounding on her window, but mostly because she didn't know.

She didn't know where in the world he could be, and that frustrated her. Being a top scholar and one of the brightest witches in her year, she was used to knowing all the who, what, when, where, and why's. It was drilled into her brain. She has to know! Now all of a sudden, she had no clue about something she wasn't even supposed to be caring about but found herself increasingly curious on finding the truth of.

_Sigh. _It's going to be a long night.

She closed her eyes and relished in the knowledge of knowing it's raining. She saw a flash of light behind her eyelids and the thunder boomed in the distance. The rain pitter-pattered against the window, and she saw that face.

Not just any face, _his _face. The messy, wind-blown hair that can never be fixed, the hazel eyes spectacled with black rimmed glasses (hazel with bits of gold and lovely green dotted, but she told herself not to think about that), and of course, the smile. Not the arrogant smirk he wore everyday to the general public, not the full-on grin he has when he's with his mates, it's _the smile_. That smile he wears when he's looking at her, when he's staring at her when he thinks she isn't looking. That smile that secretly makes her sigh, in a good way. Of course, she would never admit that to his face.

What she would admit though, was that she was worried. The light of the full moon shone through the window, making her creamy skin glow like an angel, but she definitely didn't feel like one. She was reluctant to think about the events of the day.

They always said ignorance is bliss, but will ignoring what happened really help her? Or was it time for her to man up and face the truth? Face the reality that she was heartless and insensitive and couldn't see what was good for her until it was out of her reach? Oh yeah, that sounds really simple.

Not that she wasn't ashamed, or embarrassed, or guilty, or full-out hating herself for doing what she did. Humiliating him in a way that was so below her (or so she thought until that moment) and more public than any affectionate declaration he's ever done for her was one of the worst mistakes of her life, it was just as bad as being called that word by her ex-best friend, if not worse.

The look on his face was enough to make anyone feel. It was like he had been stabbed in the back by someone he would never expect, like how the blow of her words were tearing him apart, bit by bit. She almost apologized, she wanted to take back her words, but her pride was too much, so she stood stubbornly in the corridor, facing him and his fallen hopes.

He didn't argue like he always did, he looked down for a moment, and when he raised his head again, his face was emotionless, and on it was the coldest expression she's ever seen.

"If that's how you feel, Evans."

His voice was calm and strong, such a contrast to what she was feeling. Then he turned around and walked away.

She panted from her rant and stared dumbly after him. He's just going to go like that? No arguments, no begging, not even a "you know you love me"?

The crowd gathered in the corridor parted like the red sea for him and let him through. She stared at his back disbelievingly as the crowd disassembled, seeing that the show was over. That's it? He's going? He's giving up just like that? Instead of relieved, she found herself depressed. It's over...

That wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was, after it was all over and she was in her room, wallowing in self-pity, she realized that by hurting him, it hurts her a thousand times worse. But it was too late, wasn't it? How could anyone put up with someone so cruel, even if he is one of the strongest and most forgiving peopleshe's ever met? She should just accept the title "Hogwart's resident red-headed bitch", just like how the rest of the school is probably referring her as at the moment.

It was until much later that she realized he called her "Evans". He never called her that, it was always "Lily" or "Lilykins" or "Lily my love" or –the one she hated the most- "Lily darling", but never ever "Evans". Guess there's a first time for everything. She won't say how much that one word affected her though, it would only make her look weak.

No one had seen him since "the incident", as she is referring to today from now on, he disappeared after he walked away from her. It wasn't just him either, his best friends, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew, the fearless foursome that made up the infamous Marauders were nowhere to be seen. She hoped they weren't planning a prank because she didn't want them to get in trouble. But she also didn't want that because it would mean that he's gone back to his childish ways.

She knew he had changed, everyone has seen it, but she never knew how much it affected her. She found herself more attracted to this new him, and she liked it. However, when he asked her out this afternoon, it was habit just to turn him down. It reminded her of the thousands of times he publicly embarrassed her with his wacky attempts at asking her to a date and she didn't want that. She thought he was better than that now! It made her so mad and frustrated that she almost admitted to him that she liked this change and then he goes back to humiliating her again. She just snapped, and she has regretted it ever since.

It was late now, and she missed his presence terribly. He was always there when she needed him, even if it was just to blame him for something that messed up her day, she could count on him being there. Now he's Merlin-knows where and she's miserably thinking about him in the common room (which they share as Head Boy and Head Girl, but that's a minor detail), the fireplace doesn't seem to supply enough warmth.

Lightning flashed followed by thunder three times in a row, she barely got time to count "One Mississippi, two Mississippi..." before the thunder boomed. The storm was at its peak, and she couldn't help thinking that he should be here.

The last time a bad thunderstorm hit, he found her sitting alone in the common room by herself late at night. She didn't mind his presence when he sat beside her and she didn't mind it either when he took her hand. He just sat there with her, watching the rain. The moment felt intimate, like they shared something that only they know of.

Is it possible to feel this lonely?

Almost as if he could read her mind (but she hopes not, Merlin knows what he'd say about all the things she thought about him), he came staggering through the portrait holes, looking fatigued and dog-tired, not to mention soaked through the bone. She sat in shock in her seat by the window; she certainly didn't expect him to show up here, especially not now.

He didn't notice her at first. He struggled to make his way to one of the red couches and sank down on it. She watched him carefully. There were scratches all over his body, his robes were torn and ripped like something clawed him. He was holding tight to his left arm and that's when she noticed the red stains on his shirt, blood seeped through his fingers.

She gasped, he glanced up at her from his place on the couch, surprised but weary.

She walked slowlytowards him, like she didn't believe that he was there. Emerald to hazel, his gaze never left hers. When she reached him, she extended her arm slowly towards his wound.

Her touch felt like feathers, light and gentle. But even the gentlest of touches from her sent shivers down his arm. She applied a little pressure, testing the damage. He winced and she immediately drew her hand back.

She reached for her wand insider her robes and whispered a few spells. He stared in wonder as the tears in his clothes mended themselves, the dirt disappeared from his cloak, and the scratches became faint pink lines. Bandages magically appeared and wrapped themselves around his arm, promptly stopping the bleeding.

"Thanks." His words came out ragged. He looked up at her with those eyes of his.

"You're welcome." She said, so softly he almost didn't hear her. She glanced away, his stare was too intense, she couldn't figure out what emotion she saw in his eyes.

They stayed in silence for a few seconds, neither of them knows what to say.

"So," She was the first to break the unbearable silence, "What happened to you?"

He looked up, surprised. "What do you mean?" He feigned innocence.

"You come here in the middle of the night, during a thunderstorm, no less. You stagger through the potrait hole with your robes in tatters, scratches all over the place, and a bleeding arm." She frowned, " If that's not suspicious, I don't know what is. You can't sit there and tell me that nothing is going on, so spill it, Potter."

He was a bit taken back by her straightforward-ness (and the use of his last name. He thought they were over that by now), but then again, she always had a knack for surprising him.

"Well," He started, "since you asked..." He paused for dramatic effect.

She tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for his big excuse.

"I was taking a stroll in the Forbidden Forest." He finished lightly.

"What?" She didn't know whether she should be mad or sad that he's lying to her so openly.

"No no no no no," She wagged her finger at him, "You 're not gonna sit there and pretend everything is handy-dandy. Something happened, or else you wouldn't come in here looking like that, and you're gonna tell me what it is."

He stood up, "Why do you care?"

"I...because...I..." She stuttered. The question caught her by surprise. Why _did_ she care?

He stood there with a smug look on his face, arms crossed infront of his chest, waiting for her brilliant response. The roles are reversed now, but she was never good at speaking things out loud. Whenever she wanted to explain herself, she did it on paper. When she was writing, she could think before she spoke and she could organize her thoughts all the better. Right now there were a dozen things running through her head but when it came to what to say, she came up blank.

"Because I just do!" She blurted out. Oh great, what an amazing response that was. She put a hand over her mouth, awaiting his mockery.

He stared at her with an expression she couldn't name. Then the expression disappeared as quickly as it came. "Well thats funny, because you never showed that you cared for me in the least." He said sarcastically. "Especially after today, if I remember correctly, you should probably be sad that I'm only hurt and not dead, no?"

She was silent. She couldn't deny the truth in his words, they were the exact ones she flung at him earlier today during their public spat.

"If my actions were suspicious, then so are yours." He continued, "Why are you staying up so late on a night like this, and you're still in your school robes! I'm trying to acknowledge your wish of never seeing my face again, so if you'll excuse me, " He looked out the window, then at the direction of his room, "it's late."

He made a move to leave when she opened her mouth.

"I was doing my Potions homework, and you know I love thunderstorms, I mean, you were here the last time we had a thunderstorm, and that wasn't so bad, was it? Plus, the essay Slughorn gave was so long and tedious it took me more than 3 hours to do it, who cares about Veritisarum anyway? Then I was tired but I didn't want to go to sleep and I didn't know where you were and it worried me and I don't know what to do and I'm so bloody sorry for what I said today. I mean, you called me Evans, and you never call me Evans, so something must be seriously wrong. " She was rambling and she knew it, but she had to keep talking, to say everything before she lost the guts to do so and to keep him here as long as possible.

Her hands waved in gestures as she talked and tried to look at anywhere in the room but him.

"It was bitchy and stupid and I'm the worst person in the world and I hate myself for what I said but I don't mean it, you're wonderful, you help the little kids and you're a good leader not only because you're Head Boy, but because you're just good overall and I'm mean for saying what I said and I hope you're okay because I actually do kind of like you and I don't want to see you hurt and..."

She stopped abruptly. He was standing infront of her. She looked down to see his index finger on her lips. She lifted her eyes back up only to meet his. The beautiful hazel eyes are now more gold than ever and he was looking at her with that expression again, but this time, he was smiling. She frowned.

He was smiling. Not just any smile, that smile he saves just for her. Why is he smiling? He should be mad, or upset, she was such a bad person, he should be yelling at her, or making fun of her. Why is he smiling?

"You know," He smirks a little, "Sometimes you talk too much."

Then it happened. She could have never dreamed that it could happen at a time like this. She won't deny that she has fantasized about him kissing her, but never in a situation where she made the worst mistake of her life, then have him come back in the middle of the night. She never dreamed it was like this, but she wouldn't trade the memory for the world. It was soft and urgent at the same time. She put her arms around his neck, his hands at her waist, and she was in bliss.

They broke apart and both were panting for breath. He put his forehead against hers, his arms still encircling her waist.

"So, you were worried, huh?"

She blushed, "Just a little. I'm sorry about before, I mean it."

"You're forgiven, as long as I get to kiss you again." He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

She laughed and punched his arm lightly. "Hmmm, I don't know. You're being very arrogant about this." She pretended to think.

He feigned hurt. "Come on Lily my love, you know you like me."

She grinned, "That I do. And I hope the feeling's mutual."

"Of course. I thought you knew me well, Lilykins!" Their lips met.

"But don't you think you're getting away without telling me what you were up to tonight, I waited so long for you!"

"You were waiting up for me?" He was a little shocked.

She blushed again, "Well, yeah. I didn't know where you were, it drove me nuts."

He nuzzled her neck, "I'm sorry I made you worry."

"Don't worry about it. You're here now." She smiled up at him.

They stayed in the common room for the rest of the night, watching the rain, and finally falling asleep in each other's arms. She couldn't help thinking that thunderstorms always brought good things for her.

They have their flaws, she knew, they are gonna fight and scream and make up again. She'll cry and miss him and everything will be fine again in a few days. However, she also knew that, no matter what, he'll always be there. He was the one stable thing in her life in their world of turmoil, and that's all she needed.

After all, their names are entwined, Lily and James, and that will never change.


End file.
